As a first-time mom, I come last. My well-being, my appearance, my social life. They all get put on the back burner. And that is okay with me, most days.
Do I sometimes wish I had time to floss daily, or shave my legs, or even brush my hair? Well of course, every day. But what is more important to me is my daughter’s well-being.
Also, I’m a working mom. I don’t get to be with my daughter 24/7. Therefore, I take super speedy showers… and not just because the hot water runs out fast, but because I want to be as big of a part of my daughter’s life as possible.
Before motherhood, I was all about clothing and fashion. I tried relentlessly to wear the latest trends, from booties to the latest Mumu prints. If SteamRoller Blues would Instagram it, I was on it. There was no stopping me.
Then I had a baby.
And now, as a mom, I wear the same t-shirts almost every week.
Long story short: my appearance has been somewhat lacking since becoming a mom for this reason. (I am so thankful for my husband for encouraging me through the times I get down on myself. He is so good, y’all!)
I remember one instance specifically. We had traveled out of town for one of my dear friend’s baby showers. We stayed with the in-laws, and I had rushed to get myself and my daughter ready so that we would make it [close enough to] on time.
I remember coming down the stairs, and my mother-in-law asked if I wanted her to watch Mason while I got ready… But I was ready… My dear sweet mother-in-law… She meant nothing by it. In fact, I should have put more thought into that comment because it would have saved me some heartache.
My outfit of choice was what I wore every other typical day: skinny jeans, flip flops, and a mom t-shirt with a flannel on top and my hair in messy pony. I thought, they were just lucky that I had clothes on at all (seriously though).
So when we arrived to the shower, I walked in, and what do I see? Dresses, heels, make-up to the nines, hair curled and poofed like they were attending a ball. Oh. This is what my mother-in-law meant and was trying to prepare me for. I had completely forgotten what it’s like to not be a mom and actually have time and motivation to get ready for things… Because, I had once been like these girls.
But then, even the few other moms were dressed like this. Who have I become, I thought. What is wrong with me that I don’t have time to do this? They are better moms than me. They know how to multi-task. Why am I such a failure? Will my daughter be proud of me? I want to make her proud.
So we made it through the shower, and it was great to visit with old friends. But as soon as my husband picked us up, on came the waterworks and hysterics as I bawled all the way back to my in-laws’ house about how I wasn’t good enough, and how do these other moms have time to do this, and am I a failure as a mom and wife, and am I an embarrassment, etc. etc.
Y’all, I’m not even lying. My husband is [the real MVP] so great to me. Regardless if he’s telling the truth or not, he always knows what to say to make me feel better. He told me that it was because I am the best mom. In fact, the best mom he’s ever known. He told me that I don’t make enough time for myself, time that I deserve to take to myself, but I spend it selflessly catering to our daughter instead. He told me how proud I make him and that no one is more of a mom than I am a mom. True or not, it worked.
Now if you’re a mom that still manages to look cute all the time and dress up and shave your legs and brush your hair, I applaud you! In fact, I am astounded by you! You are an awesome multi-tasker! These are things I still haven’t figured out, and I’m not sure I ever will. But I’ve learned that it’s okay. (Tips appreciated here, ladies.)
In fact, my go-to choice of fashion now includes graphic, mom-tees (with easy booby access) layered with a denim or flannel. (My husband even considers this dressed up now). And I am perfectly okay with it… most days.
Do I still have down days? Of course, sometimes more often than not, but the highs outweigh the lows by far. So what if I’m the disheveled mom with the side braid coming to your wedding. At least I made it, and it’s truly a big deal that I have real clothes on at all… even if they don’t match. 😉
Oh how time changes things…
(And I bet you can’t guess which one is me in the picture. *insert sarcastic tone)