Working from home has been tough. I can barely check my emails without the risk of the house catching fire. As I was teaching a class online one afternoon, my dear daughter decided to open up her own COVID-19 hair salon. (AKA: she cut the neighbor boy’s hair unbeknownst to me). In fact, I didn’t even find out until two days later when her little brother told my mom about it. I immediately apologized and was filled with more of that dreadful mom guilt.

You know the worst of it is? I felt like everyone blamed me. I mean it was my fault. I had let my children play unsupervised while I tended to my students, my job. Not only did I blame myself, but my husband’s friend’s wife even judged, “How did she even get scissors?” Like I handed them to her or like I allow her to play with them regularly: Well actually, I thought it would be a grand ol’ idea to let my five-year-old try her hand at cutting hair. You never know what the future may hold for her, and the earlier she finds her talent, the better. Now here’s some scissors,  baby. RUN with them and go play while I drink this bottle of wine and take a bubble bath because I have nothing better to do. Have fun now, y’all!

Umm, wrong. I’m sorry I don’t have eyes in the back of my head, I’m sorry I have to work online most of the day, and I’m sorry I’m not a perfect mother like you. 

To make matters worse, the older siblings of the victim of the COVID-19’s newest and youngest hairstylist kept scooting by on their scooters telling my oldest how “P.E.S.D” their mom was and “why couldn’t anyone just have stopped her or told her no?” Like she actually asked me for permission and I willingly obliged. Again? Seriously, people? Like I know I fail at this motherhood stuff (Apparently, more often than most)… but I really am trying here, folks. I guess I need to post a warning sign in my yard, so all the neighbors will know not to let their kids come play with mine: Beware! Imperfect Mom Lives Here! 

Want to know what else has happened since we’ve been quarantined? My house is pretty much always a disaster. The kids fight way too much. One day, they nearly hung our dog. Not intentionally. They were just trying to keep her leashed to the fence. Luckily, I caught this one. (But go ahead; judge me some more). They’ve plucked nearly all of the petals off of my favorite Barbados Lilies. They’ve attempted to glue art to my daughter’s bedroom wall. She actually made her little brother into art. They’ve gotten poop slime stuck in my living room carpet… yeah, that one’s great. Real classy… Apparently, there are YouTube Kids videos that are sped up, so my kids are constantly acting like they are in fast forward mode (see photo above)… and, I can hardly keep up with them in real time… So that’s real fun… I could go on. Motherhood is so rewarding, but it’s also so, very hard. 

In case you’re wondering: we do have rules. They get in trouble, and they get whoopins. Some days I yell, and some days I cry. And get this, some days I get it just right. Because, you know what else has happened during quarantine? I’ve watched my children grow closer. They’ve cheered for each other and taken up for each other. My daughter has asked questions about Jesus, practiced her piano religiously, and taught her little brother trampoline tricks. My son finally learned to draw a straight line and ride his tricycle, and he is getting to be a scooter pro. We’ve watered flowers and taken lots of walks. We’ve had dance parties, singing parties, and hugging parties. I even get them both to nap on occasion. It’s me they want when they get hurt, it’s me they want when they’re scared and when they’re tired, and it’s me they want when they need extra love and cuddles. I may fail a whole, whole lot, but sometimes I get it right. 

Still, you are forewarned: Imperfect mom over here.

*Now don’t say I didn’t warn ya!